The “Mom” Category: Why Having a Baby Shouldn’t Mean I’m Cut from the Group Chat.

Before I had a baby, I was everywhere.

Bottomless brunch? I was there.

Midweek movie nights? Count me in.

Random TJ Maxx run just for vibes? I had my keys in hand before you finished texting.

Then… I had a baby. And suddenly, it’s like I got moved to a different category in everyone’s mental contact list. A category labeled: “She Can’t Come, She’s a Mom Now.”

And okay — I get it. For the first few weeks of my son’s life, I was out of commission. I was living in a state of perpetual milk stains and emotional whiplash, trying to keep a tiny human alive while Googling things like “is it normal for a baby to grunt like a goat?” every two hours. I wasn’t exactly vibing. I was surviving.

But now? I’m still that girl who loves a mall trip, a patio drink, and a good parking lot gossip session. I didn’t turn into a pumpkin when I had a baby — I just temporarily paused social life to figure out what the heck I was doing.

But something shifted.

The invites slowed down. Then stopped. And let me tell you, that hurts in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

It’s like people assume motherhood = isolation. That I wouldn’t want to go out. Or couldn’t. Or shouldn’t. That I’ve morphed into this mythical mom creature who only emerges to buy diapers and reheat coffee 16 times a day.

Spoiler alert: I have access to babysitters. And a car. And a desperate desire to wear pants that don’t have a stretchy waistband.

Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being me.

Sure, I might need a little more notice before a spontaneous girls’ night. Sure, I might talk about my kid a lot (he’s cute, okay?!). Sure, I might ghost mid-party because I’m exhausted by 9 p.m.

But I still want to be invited. I still want to feel like I belong. I still want to be your fun friend — even if my fun now includes emotional breakdowns over laundry and a weird obsession with Ms. Rachel.

Motherhood didn’t erase me.

It expanded me.

So to the friends who have stayed — who keep inviting me even when I say no, who send “thinking of you” texts, who ask about my baby and my mental health: Thank you. Truly.

And to the friends who stopped calling, stopped inviting, stopped trying? No hard feelings. But maybe, just maybe… give your mom friends another shot.

We’re still here. Still fun. Still down for brunch and Target runs and mimosas that turn into therapy sessions.

We might just need to be home by 10.